They don’t scream. They don’t hit. But they always get what they want. Welcome to the terrifyingly quiet world of narcissist mind games—the psychological tactics used to manipulate, confuse, and control people, often without them realizing it.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you’re the problem—even when you’re not—this article is for you.
1. Love-Bombing: The Trap of Intense Attention
This is how narcissists lure people in. At the start, they’ll shower you with compliments, gifts, and promises. It feels amazing—like you’ve finally found someone who sees you.
“He told me he loved me within the first week. I thought it was romantic. Turns out it was bait.” — Reddit user u/BrokenGlassCharm
But this “high” is only temporary. Once they know you’re hooked, the control begins.
2. Gaslighting: Making You Doubt Your Reality
Perhaps the most well-known tactic, gaslighting is when a narcissist convinces you that your memory, feelings, or perception is wrong.
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “I never said that.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
These phrases slowly chip away at your confidence.
3. Triangulation: Creating Jealousy and Competition
They’ll mention exes. Compare you to others. Even flirt in front of you. Why?
To make you feel insecure—and prove your “worth” by competing for their attention.
“My ex would bring up his co-worker’s outfits just to make me feel inadequate. It worked.” — Quora user
This creates emotional chaos that keeps the narcissist in control.
4. Silent Treatment: Control Disguised as Distance
When you do something they don’t like (even unknowingly), they withdraw. No texts. No calls. Cold stares.
The goal? Make you feel guilty and desperate to “fix” things.
“Three days of silence after I asked about his ex. I ended up apologizing to him.” — TikTok comment on @narc_recovery
5. Moving the Goalposts
Nothing is ever enough. When you meet one demand, they change the standard.
- You’re too clingy → you give space → now you’re distant.
- You’re too emotional → you become calm → now you “don’t care.”
This endless shifting creates mental exhaustion.
6. Playing the Victim
They’ll flip the script and make themselves the injured party—even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
- “I only yelled because you upset me.”
- “You made me do this.”
They use guilt to maintain power.
7. Passive-Aggressive Sabotage
Rather than direct confrontation, narcissists will sabotage subtly:
- Forgetting important dates
- “Joking” insults
- Undermining your confidence in front of others
You’re left feeling unsure—is this intentional or just careless?
How to Protect Yourself
- Document patterns: Keep a journal or voice memos
- Set boundaries: And enforce them consistently
- Seek therapy: Especially if your sense of reality feels shaken
- Limit contact: Narcissists feed on proximity and reaction
“Grey rocking saved me. I stopped giving him reactions, and he lost interest fast.” — Reddit user u/quietstormgirl
Conclusion
Narcissist mind games are designed to confuse you into compliance. But knowledge is power. Once you recognize the signs, you take back control of your reality.
And if something feels wrong—it probably is.
